This page is going to contain entries fro
m every day of my chocolate ban, whether I stray and whether I complete!
Lent 2014 saw me do this again, I saved £81 from what I would have spent, and lost 2lbs in weight. Lets see how this year goes!
Day 1 -
I'm currently sitting in bed wondering why on earth I have decided to do this again...last year the first three weeks near enough killed me with not having chocolate, so why would I even decide to do this again?!
I'm not a religious person in the slightest and other people's views on religion do not bother me, people believing in something shows our vulnerabilities but also strengths, so why decide to do Lent?
Last year a girl in my Health Sciences class wanted to do it and so as support I decided to do it with her as chocolate is my main downfall. She lasted about a week. I was quite proud to be fair, she really did well. I lasted till the week before lent was over, I was gutted and so disappointed in myself! So....this year I am going for it and going to do the full wack! None of this "Lent doesn't count on a Sunday" malarkey, I'm doing the full 40 days and that includes the weekends in between too!
So day 1 and so far all is going well. I had juice plus on my porridge this morning, and rather than eating cookies at work I saved it and when I got home I went crazy. 1 giant blueberry muffin and a few oats, raisin and orange cookies later and I am feeling ok. Just before coming to bed however I was in need of yet another chocolate/sweet fix so downed a can of Fanta Fruit Twist. Hmm...maybe next year I should cut out sugar full stop? Lets see where day 2 takes us!
Day 2 -
Every thought I have is about chocolate.
I came downstairs this morning after dreaming of Harry Potter Chocolate Frogs, and I swear the kitchen smelt like chocolate. Every room I went into, every cupboard I opened, something chocolaty awaited me.
Around mid day I went and had some girly treatments done on my lashes and eye brows and as the lady was plucking hairs from my brows all I could think of was the taste of dark chocolate - Bournville - in my mouth and how well it goes with a cup of tea.
Today has been hard!
Being off work too makes it harder still cause I would eat out of boredom, or grab a quick snack of a chocolate bar.
Its like a drug. I can feel the chocolate going out of my system and the need for it gets stronger throughout the day. Every thought, every where I look...there's chocolate. Walking home I almost stopped off at a shop just to grab a bar, and then zoned back to life and remembered it isn't allowed. Its almost like there is literally a devil on your shoulder tempting you constantly.
The bonus side of the second day chocolate free, is that my skin has stopped itching and I am no longer red raw with eczema?! This happened last year too so maybe it isn't lactose I am actually allergic to....maybe its a component of chocolate?
Day 3 -
How I have not binged on chocolate today I do not know! At work I am currently on the early shifts, so getting up at 4:45 and sometimes getting to work for 5:00, well today was one of those days. I thought I would get ahead of myself on the day so went to work an hour early, only to find that a freezer had malfunctioned. I've got to say, considering I don't go to the gym anymore todays 'work-out' of lifting shed loads of bread boxes up and down stairs didn't tire me out as much as I had thought! I've seemed to be fine throughout the day, staying busy so any thoughts of chocolate have been dismissed completely. However when I got home and started to relax, the cravings have kicked in. I keep thinking to myself - "one bar wont matter" or "dark chocolate doesn't count" - the devil seems to be on my shoulder again and he is getting louder and louder. All I want is that sugary creamy hit, just one hit of the sweet bitter taste of Bourneville and I will be happy.... but no, I have to sit through every craving. I have to sit through Chris Evans and Alex Jones doing a story on The One Show talking about chocolate and how it is made and tasting 100% cocoa. I should be doing that! But no, I'm here, eating soya based raspberry yoghurt and drinking cups of tea with rice milk. I very much dislike how well my skin is now that there is no chocolate....very....much....dislike!!!
Day 4 -
Yet another early shift today and mid-way through its making me need sugar. I dislike fizzy drinks and just wish for chocolate...but no! I behave and manage to make it through. I even take home a salad and have a tomato and red pepper soup to curb the want for chocolate...and it worked. It seems I have found what I need to help me forget the want for chocolate. I have noticed though that every thought I have at the moment is about food, I'm constantly thinking about my stomach and my next food fix. Finishing work I had decided out right that I wanted to drink beer tonight, Coors Light, and have the usual takeout, Chicken Tikka Bhuna, so even though I am forgetting about chocolate, its currently being replaced with other bad food...this isn't good...
Day 5 -
The bad food binge continues. We ate in bed last night...one thing I hate but couldn't be bothered with the argument so complied with. So as I woke I was greeted with last nights curry smells - they smelt amazing. This kick started the groans of my stomach wanting food, and as the morning continued my greed and want for shit food did again. We tried to find a butty shop for a sausage butty, but at 10:30/11:00 on a Sunday morning, not many are open. So it ended up with a McDonalds craving and the other half complying this time! I've got to say I'm quite glad I work in a store that promotes healthy eating because its got to be healthy eating this week after this shocking weekend!! Early shifts all week now so it will be interesting to see how the chocolate cravings hold out! Today is a Sunday and apparently Lent isn't counted on Sundays due to it then making lent longer than 40 days...because its a 7 week fast. Well this is what I have been told anyway...as I said though, this year I am attempting a full 7 weeks. So far so good!
Day 6 -
Today has been a good day, not generally craving chocolate and just got on with things. Back at work too so healthy eating-ish is back :) tiredness seems to set in and I tend to have a want for something to eat, and cause chocolate is a quick and easy go to that becomes the choice. I read somewhere that humans use sweet tasting things as a reward...and those that tend to eat more sweet things need to remind their brains to be rewarded more - or something like that. It explains a lot cause I do tend to doubt myself a lot and I lack confidence in the things I do..as a friend/girlfriend/daughter and manager so obviously use chocolate and my addiction to sugar to replace those doubts? It's interesting, I love microbiology and how the body works. I am telling you now, reader, that one day I will become a nurse/doctor/cardiologist! its my goal and what I want out of life!
Day 7 -
A WHOLE WEEK!! I have some how lasted a whole week without even the smallest amount of chocolate!! As much as it has been difficult its been easier than I remember last year! It would get to the point last year where I was opening the chocolate bar and remembered that I couldn't eat it, when all I wanted was the subtle sugar hit and knew that fruit or sweets wouldn't quite suffice it.
Again today tiredness has set in and the temptation for chocolate becomes all the more aggressive. Its rather annoying because I don't want anything other than chocolate, I don't want a drink or just sugar, I want chocolate. Did you know that sugar has the same chemical formula as cocaine? This just shows why it is so bloody addictive!
Day 8 -
What a shit day!!!
I woke at 4:45 to a text message from the boss with some bad news about his family so I was happy to get to work earlier, then I find out we have a new starter, then I find out we have the monthly evaluation, then I find out some much worse news!
Yesterday we also had a family crisis and are currently trying to get it sorted, so this week has been pretty shit! The day in general has been shit, its one of those days where you have to run your hands through your hair have a brew and take a deep breath. So I did. And had a 450G bar of Bourneville.
I would argue its allowed cause of the shocking day if I'm being honest, and it has made me feel better, however I want more and also feel angry at myself for breaking the fast! So 40 days starts from now again I guess? No more chocolate this time! Just shit loads of sweet stuff! :) Promise :)
Day 9 -
This week is just going from bad to worse. I'm not going to bore you all with the work related tale behind today, however its been bad. I dislike management and have to admit I don't think I would ever want to be one again if I'm honest! based on this week anyways. I'm too concerned with being liked I guess but also being organised and prepared and today has fucked me off and tipped me over. Females with authority in the work place do not get as much respect as men do, it's rude and out of order! So yeh, of course I have had chocolate again. It releases endorphins and makes me slightly happier about things. I cant promise I wont be having any tomorrow because I more than likely will. The stress this week is peeving me off and this week especially I will not be having any ties to anything. Monday will finally be my day off and it cant come quick enough!! 6-4 tomorrow then 6-12 on Saturday and a 7-12 on Sunday and then a sweet 24 hours off!! Only three more shifts....